i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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