mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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