What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
You may now shotgun with the bride
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Randomize
