Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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