yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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