I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
