Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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