At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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