i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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