maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
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