He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
how drunk are you?
Several
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
