Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
