hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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