I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
