three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
