worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
