then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
