he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
