I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
i drank out of a bidet.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
