me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I'm both gender and math confused
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
