Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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