When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
