Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
