Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
