I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
