He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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