I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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