i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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