margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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