There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
