last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
