dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
