Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
