Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
