Please don't use social media to get back at me.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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