No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
