Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
