if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
