You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
