Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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