You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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