So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
