DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
