I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
