i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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