I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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