yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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