that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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