READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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