Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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