Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
