just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
