Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Randomize
